Timeout after a relationship ends (Download)

By Michael Knight

Wednesday 6 June 2012

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Whatever the reason your relationship breaks up or down, is there a period of time you should wait before contemplating the thought of another, let alone entering into a relationship?

As much as it can hurt like hell when a relationship is over, whoever leaves or however it finally ends, it's vitally important to have some time to yourself for awhile whether it be months or years.

For this timeout is often needed to renew and replenish your Self giving you time to rediscover who you are, picking up all of life's little pieces that lay scattered everywhere and integrating them back into the new person you wish to be.

Perhaps do some soul searching as you grieve and heal. Perform some self assessment enhancing your growth as you rekindle fun and adventure along the way. Even new types of work or business getting those finances in order, a new car, home and friends. Take some chances and live a little.

Possibly lick your wounds way back to childhood discovering more about who you are and the issues that may be affecting your enjoyment of life. Recover your vitality as you enter the next chapter and the many relationships that will appear, whatever form they may come in.

Whilst liberating at times, breaking up can be such sorrow and if not done with proper care and caution is thrown to the wind, the results can be catastrophic and unpredictable. All the people around you, past and present including you, may be impacted upon negatively from all types of mess.

History has often revealed that entering into a new relationship immediately after one has ended can cause the fox to be thrown amongst the chickens or the cat amongst the pigeons, whichever you prefer, so give yourself and others time to adjust to the split.

You may even feel it appropriate proper time should be given to properly respect the other person and the death of the relationship, yourself and the sanctity of what you both shared.

Sometimes in the relationship it can be mutually agreed upon that if you broke up what this period should be. Three months or six perhaps, just to minimise the hurt to each other.

For the length of the relationship, intensity of the love, whether children are involved, how sensitive you are or how emotionally inept you are at coping with the shock, change or loss can be all factors to consider if you can both be truly calm, mature and respectful about the end.

However, some may say the time-frame should be dependent upon you and how you are feeling, after all if the relationship is truly over, is there a reason to wait? Whilst this can be done and often is, if you jump into a new relationship too early you may not be ready. Having failed to accept and understand your past woes may cause you to simply repeat more of the same mistakes or even cause you to make bigger ones in the future landing you in some real hot water.

It can't hurt to give the both of you some time to help the emotions subside, allowing your common sense and clarity to return. In time memories do fade, or somehow seem less potent. So give yourself time, you will know when the time is right to move forward and in a direction and at a pace that is right for you.

With love, kindness and peace
Michael