Are you valuing yourself properly?

By Michael Knight

Sunday 7 June 2009

Article: 5,195 chars

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Part of the Empowerment PLUS Series
When was the last time you really felt free and alive doing what you wanted?

To the point where you say life is bloody fantastic, all day everyday.

Are you sick and tired of putting up with people who give you grief making you feel miserable? Those types who always appear to you to be unfriendly, aggressive, useless, rude, incompetent, abusive, dishonest and all those negative qualities in people that you've somehow tolerated up until now.

Well the answer is it's not about them — it's about you!

It's about how you value yourself, and I mean properly!

If you come across anybody that is incessantly negative to you, walk away from them and either have little to do with them or absolutely nothing. An example is if you engage a lawyer and he or she doesn't follow your instructions, makes you feel uncomfortable for any reason, walk away — disengage their services immediately. Don't be fearful of lawyers. As my uncle used to say "lawyers are a dime a dozen". They need you — not the other way around.

Anyway, going through a Separation is possibly the best time to take stock and re-value yourself properly, or in some cases value yourself for the first time, asking yourself important questions such as "How much am I really worth?" and "How much do I want to be worth?" Don't rush, ponder it for awhile and give it some real thought.

Going through the upset of a Separation or Divorce can leave you thinking and feeling devalued big time. Add to that a lengthy and grueling legal battle and your self worth may well plummet to an all time low. By revaluing yourself you are saying to yourself you are worth much more than you are getting now. That includes being in a better relationship where the other person gives you the love and respect you truly deserve, treating you right. Not working for free when you should be getting paid for providing a service to others and in general, as a friend of mine says don't put up with 'no more shit'.

It simply means opening the flood gates to receiving more of the good stuff, because you are a beautiful person, and you deserve better. In fact, you can have anything you want in this world, so why not make it all the good stuff. How about them bananas?

Everything in your life will flow from how you perceive your value or worth. The more worthwhile you think of yourself the better you will feel and the more you will receive all things good.

Once you fortify an unshakable belief and confidence in the truth that you are a good person, with unique beauty and gifts, you will come to realise you are a truly special creation of God, whoever or whatever God may mean to you. You deserve and must command only the best from the world.

But let's be clear — this doesn't mean you reduce your giving or stop it all together, no not at all. In fact, I bet you can give far more than you're giving now. I know you want to. Perhaps at this moment you are just not sure how or feel like you can barely give to yourself, but but this will change and you will give more and be more. Giving increases the flow of energy and really is the first step to receiving. You don't ask to receive, you just allow it when it happens.

By valuing yourself higher than you are possibly now, you will be in a better place to make better decisions about your well-being. Revaluing yourself simply means you attract only good things into your life and this includes everything your heart and mind can imagine. Better relationships, health, more money, freedom, fun, love, less stress — whatever your heart desires. Yes, it seems all a bit airy fairy — I know, but it is possible, it is the way.

However, it will take a commitment by you to truly believe in your heart of hearts you are worth more. Unless this belief is truly repeated in your conscious mind it will not become deep rooted and automatic in your subconscious.

Next, you must become aware of what you want to change in your current situation.

Remember to move forward and gain new things, you will first have to give up some things. You may see this first as loss but it's not, in so far as these things are not giving you real value to your life. You will know what these things are.

You also may want to ponder some gratitude.

Being grateful for the most precious things in your life, the things that money can't buy. These will be the things you most likely got for free! Things like your good health, mind, loved ones such as your children and family, and the beauty of nature. The air you breathe and beautiful sun that rises each day to warm your soul.

Being aware of the limits that have been placed upon you during your whole life, predominantly childhood years may give you a clue to why you are possibly not valuing yourself as high as you should be, for greater well-being and peace.

With love and kindness

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    By: cathy from Victoria, Australia on September 9, 2009 @ 12:29 pm
    Being grateful for all that is precious is a wonderful feeling, to be surrounded by love, to be loved and to love in return for that special person is something I am eternally grateful for. I pity those such as "you know who" who clearly don't have a clue on love at all.
    By: you know who from VIC, Australia on September 9, 2009 @ 12:05 pm
    yes michael, a great spiel on not taking abuse, aggression and humiliation.
    You are pretending, get help,'value yourelf' and be honest for christs sake.
    Its all a bit weird - these essays that preach and then you ask for the opposite, you almost beg for it actually. So sad. Get better.
    No more notes.
    By: Arda Martin from Victoria, Australia on June 9, 2009 @ 8:20 am
    Very well said Michael - the secret of success in work and life is to be confident and value one's self - I always believe that if one door closes, then another one opens for you, and to be positive in life(if one can) would help a lot in achieving what we are aiming for - I am grateful for a job that keeps me in touch with people of all walks of life and to enjoy the simple verbal communication with them - I communicate with love and respect, and attract loving experiences and feelings that are returned sometimes twofold, but of course people are different and there are those who still think negatively and do not appreciate what is provided for them - so thank you Michael for reminding me that I should value myself and of course by doing this I know that I can value others that I come across in life. I will never put myself down again.
    Cheers - Arda
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