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Is there any right way to end a relationship?

Posted: 9 years ago by Daniel from Carlton

All I know is when the right type of love & care doesn't exist for each person in the r'ship, and these areas aren't communicated, listened to, understood and acted upon to improve and revitalise the connection, yes, unfortunately, it's over. And so it should be if the r'ship is completely dead.

Posted: 9 years ago by Sonya from Wantirna

Be kind and respectful to ea other

Posted: 9 years ago by Denise S from Fairfield

This is very complex. I am not only responding directly to Daniel but to all readers. And the way to go about it can vary depending on the nature of the relationship or status of it. Eg if couple is married then this involves deeper levels of emotional, loving, material & financial committment. And if any children involved further the complexities of whether to end couples relationship or not or how to go about it. Or even whether to remain friends if couple are going to separate/divorce.

And though my marriage partner chose to separate from me some time ago. I did not choose nor want this, still don't. I am also a big believer in living up to the vows of marriage & staying together through marriage adversities, relationship problems etc.

So I don't think ending a marriage relationship should be solely about whether the couples relationship is still 'alive' or not so to speak or still has all the magic workings they may have or did have when they began their relationship. Nor should ending a relationship be mostly around or focused on happiness/satisfaction each partner were receiving have/had etc.

As over time & years in a marriage or any couple living together as if married, the relationship is constantly evolving, changing & takes on various status. I think generally overall in society today there is way too much emphasis on romance, short term relationship satisfaction, superficial satisfaction, sexual gratification/satisfaction & things in relation to this.

When the focus with a couples relationship & each partner in it ought to be about true companship, real love beyond all the material satisfactions. And any relationship conflicts, communication conflicts, marriage/partnership conflicts even practical ones not just in love areas etc should be worked through or at least more effort made on both parts than what seems to be the case with many couples living together, married or not.
Cause in my experience the biggest reason why couples breakup married, living together or not but especially emphasising situations with those couples living together or married is because they are not or one of them is not prepared enough, willing enough to work through their relationship, marriage, defacto & relating problems or conflicts.

Including ethical, relationship, romance, love, family { with or without any children involved or affected }, practical & financial areas. And sometimes or often I read, hear or witness the reason one person ends their relationship with their life partner married or not is simply cause they aren't getting enough satisfaction &/or happiness in this relationship.

Which is wrong & selfish, especially if they are married cause they vowed to their chosen life partner to honour, cherish, respect & be devoted to them through better or worse etc etc til death do us part. So if they weren't truly prepared or willing to live up to these important & sacred vows then they shouldn't have sacredly vowed them in front of or not family, friends & higher witnesses regardless of where they wedded.
Then they are/were not true marriage material or rightful partner to the one they chose to become engaged to & marry.

And what is the point of having marriages & sacred vows if many people are not going to live up to this & fail in this breaking sacred, divine laws in marriage & to their partner & family, children etc including any fur children, companion animals who are also treasured family members & adversely affected no less than human children are.
Only society, legal systems, legal people don't take this into account or offer financial/legal help when it comes to fur children caught between their parents separation/legal battles etc.
In societies, with families, governments there is not enough/sometimes none atall or little ethical standing in this nor legally to stop many individuals, couples from obtaining separation & obtaining divorces simply cause they aren't happy enough or satisfied enough or too weak to bother handling their relationship / marriage / family problems anymore.
Not good enough by far. And these selfish, bad attitudes are why there are more marriage breakups, separations & divorces & the victims often are any children left over & the loyal marriage partner who chose to remain in marriage, live up to the vows while the other one deserts them, their marriage & family & often still loves their partner who desserted them & the marriage. Their left to try to pick up the pieces, try to move on, try to cope with all consequences on various levels in various ways.

And it is harder when the marriage was a longer one like 15 + years or the couple had been together before & during marriage for over 21 years as in my case with my x partner who desserted me, then took legal action.

Posted: 7 years ago by Sharon from Australia
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