Decisions, decisions & more decisions

By Michael Knight

Sunday 15 November 2009

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Are you caught in a tug of war unable to make good decisions?

Yes life is all about decisions and going through a Separation is an all intensive, all important decision making process. Are you a good decision maker?

If you are, great. If not, you may want to start now by making the decision to read on.

The following information will hopefully help you to make clearer decisions about going through the Separation process and your life thereafter.

Human nature and self preservation dictates that most people and you want what's best for yourself, your children and family. You will want to advance, gain whenever and wherever possible, receiving all that life has to offer. Generally, there is nothing wrong with this, in fact it's absolutely healthy and normal, providing it doesn't unduly impinge upon another unfairly.

However, it's possibly a good idea to keep the universal law of cause and effect in mind, one being the example of giving and receiving. If you give, it's impossible for you not to receive. In fact, the more you give the more you receive tenfold, make no mistake. How, when and what you receive may not be totally clear to you, however it's best you not let this get in the way of you giving. It will come when it's meant to, don't worry, it will arrive on time.

So essentially it comes down to decisions, firstly deciding upon how you want to live your life, and by what rules or code. Remember you will always have to live with yourself, and the consequences of your thoughts and actions. Your conscience is something you can't run away from, no matter how hard you may try, so don't bother. Do things the right way, the first time. Make your decisions carefully, wisely and with love for others, as well as yourself, and as sure as day follows night, things will work out just fine. I give you my word on this.

1. The first step in making good decisions is to get yourself under control, calm, assertive, strong, free of negative energy caused usually by dear old fear of loss and the unknown. Putting yourself in a state of peace without undue stress is usually the best start to making clear and good decisions.

2. The second step is getting credible information and advice from which you can apply your thought processes to, that will best suit you and others you are responsible for. This will pertain to all relevant issues surrounding your Separation — children, finances and of course your own well being. It's wise and possible to make decisions that will benefit you both short and long term. Whilst enjoying being in the moment is really what life's about, many people often think short term looking for that instant gratification, however considering your future and that of others can be a wise move indeed.

3. The third step is to decide to pursue and maintain a peaceful approach to negotiations. This will be only hard if step one is not first followed by getting yourself, thoughts and emotions under control. Yes, this is more often than not a difficult challenge but it must be done. Be clear about what you want, what you are morally and legally entitled to, what you are prepared to be generous with and give. Be clear to narrow down any contentious issues and the short and long term effects of your decisions. Be clear about what you want in your life and what you don't.

4. The forth step is to be clear on who will be negotiating on your behalf, if it is not you. Ensure their intentions are honourable and they follow your instructions to the letter, else decide to get someone better. The results of your representatives are only a reflection of your decisions. At the end of the day, the results you get are simply about how well you made decisions based upon your age, maturity, knowledge and experiences.

If you can't make clear decisions about the issues in front of you, seek assistance from those who can help, ensuring you have enough information to make informed decisions.

A big word of caution is that if you decide not to be capable of making decisions about your life, and that of your children, there are many people in the legal and Family Court industry who will make decisions for you, and they may very well not be decisions you will be happy with, and costing you a fortune for this unfortunate privilege.

So remember to make that preliminary decision to acknowledge that you are good and worthy person and it is your birth right to enjoy life and be happy. If this is a strong enough force within you, all good things will be attracted to you, with all bad things falling away.

With love, kindness and peace
Michael

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    By: Peter Mitchell from SA, Australia on April 8, 2010 @ 10:13 am
    Thanks for this wake up call. Its highlighted my need for better decisions in respect of my divorce and difficult ex. Lawyers are involved and it's getting costly and out of control. I have read a few of the other articles and will read some more to gain greater knowledge with this otherwise tricky legal system. Although I realize I may be half the problem. Many thanks. Pete
    By: Nick from Victoria, Australia on November 15, 2009 @ 8:29 am
    Hi Michael, thank you for this article! Having read your write-ups for a long time now, let me say that is is one of your best contributions ever. It is truly full of genuine, not only philosophical but also practical wisdom in every respect. I wish that many people will read this and benefit from your advice; it will help them to carry the burden of separation and all its implications and consequences, with assertiveness, dignity and above all without undue stress, because stress is the greatest enemy we have.
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