You weren't really in love with me (Download)

By Michael Knight

Wednesday 28 September 2011

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When you are either told directly or have it made clear otherwise, that the person you loved wasn't really in love with you back, it can be a shock to your system and knock you around, at least for awhile.

Some people can take this knock on the chin without flinching, whilst others can be be hit hard being brought down quicker than the Hydrogen filled Hindenburg on fire. All of which took less than a minute mind you, from the first hint of fire to the airship crashing and being engulfed with flames reducing it to a molten mass of hot metal.

But seriously, it is a rude awakening when just as you loved them, you wanted to believe their love for you was also true — for better or worse and in sickness or health, regardless of your material possessions or whether you were formally married or not.

Somewhere along the path after the Separation there are always threads of the loss and grief cycle, from periods of denial to acceptance, and angry moments to depressive times as you analyze things for a spell.

How hard and quick you fall can be dependent on many factors but usually underneath it all you would have had your suspicions and alarm bells ringing, even if you were too caught up, afraid or overwhelmed by other issues to honestly acknowledge these signs.

The truth is that the writing was possibly on the wall for sometime but you weren't ready to confront matters, change or feel the pain, or you hoped your magic bag of tricks and waving your wand around may have made things better. Alas, it didn't. To the right person you could have said even the wrong words, and all would have been ok. However, when it's the wrong person, no matter how wholesome and loving your words and sentiments may have been, it would never have been enough for that person.

Possibly you and the relationship from the other person's eyes didn't really mean a whole lot to them anyway. A hard one to sometimes swallow for you, but the truth nonetheless.

As much as they meant alot to you, tender and sweet was how you chose to view this person, it's what you wanted to believe. It was all the good qualities you wanted to see, ignoring or downplaying those parts of this person you really knew weren't in alignment with your values. You were loyal, committed for the long haul, bumps and all, and that was what a serious relationship meant to you.

But although parting is such sorrow, reality tells the story. The record has been written.

It still may take awhile for you to fully accept the loss, this is common, however if you work through the difference in values you both had, you may just be surprised how wide the gap actually was, indicating basic flaws in the right relationship for you.

Keep strong though, heal for awhile, look inward, reassess your values, get your life straightened out with a smile back on your face again and who knows, that love you didn't get last time round is most surely heading your way now.

With love, kindness and peace
Michael