Is your relationship a happy and everlasting one full of love? (Download)
Thursday 17 November 2011
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Are you meeting your partner's human needs and they yours?
As relationships play an integral part in the tapestry of life, colourful and secure one minute, volatile and unpredictable the next, it may help to be aware of the fundamental needs required by the people involved if the relationship is to not only survive, but in fact flourish.
According to Cloe Madanes and the Robbins in their Love and Passion series, the secret of a happy relationship is knowing how to satisfy each other's human needs, with the six human needs in a relationship being:
1. Certainty - How much certainty do you give your partner - that you're here for them and that they're the most loved person on Earth?
2. Uncertainty/Variety - How much variety do you create for your partner?
3. Significance - How significant do they feel to you? If your work, business, kids, friends, mother or father are more important than your partner, your relationship will suffer.
4. Connection/Love - It's not just about being connected, do you love your partner's soul?
5. Growth - How much growth do you stimulate for your partner and relationship together?
6. Contribution - What do you do for your partner so they appreciate it? Refrain from constantly reminding them of what you've done for them instead, find out what they need.
When you satisfy any two needs of a person, you have made a connection. When you satisfy four of the human needs, you have created a bond. If you have satisfied all six human needs, your partner will never want to leave you.
Dramatic changes can take place when two partners in a relationship learn how to meet each other's needs. You can transform your relationship by understanding and harnessing the power of the six human needs. Everyone shares these needs; we just all have different ways of meeting them.
No matter how much we love our children, no matter how close we are to our Creator, no matter how important our work is, ultimately, an intimate relationship is meant to be in our lives because it makes us grow. It helps us face our fears, our frustrations, our sense that we are not enough.
We all want love and passion, but many of us fill ourselves up with work, friends, sports, food, or causes outside the realm of passion, ecstasy and intimate love.
The good news is that regardless of your past experience or current relationship, you have just experienced the promise of something deeper, richer, and lasting. Don't throw away a true love when you have the chance to reshape it and build on what you have. A deep special love from a special person doesn't come by everyday.
The grass on the other side may appear greener to some but don't be surprised if this is short lived. As you get closer to this other person cracks are most likely there too just different, perhaps wider and deeper.
Is it not better to transform yourself and the devil you know rather than the ones you don't, if of course your hearts are still together, values aligned and both are still really, really, really in love with each other having that special comfortability and togetherness chemistry you just don't find anywhere?
Fundamentally, loving God first with all your heart, soul, and mind (Matthew 22:37) can only truly lead yourself to loving your neighbour as yourself (Matthew 22:39). Hence, if your love of God and another is true, it must then follow the love you hold for your beloved partner must equally be held true.
The following passage may help to understand, feel and be love in a more unconditional and pure form:
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13:1-13
For a wonderful website to express and view comments of gratitude visit: www.IamSoGrateful.org
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