Are your emotional and physical needs being met?
Wednesday 3 March 2010
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Where do you turn if your emotional and physical needs or desires aren't being met in your current relationship?
What if you've discussed or attempted many times to resolve the issues you're having difficulty with, but are instead met with disinterest or disdain. Responses similar to "I don't understand, grow up, what do you mean I am not connecting, I am" or body language that conveys 'oh my God here we go again'?
Apart from feeling hurt, isolated and empty, do you feel like you're on a completely different planet, asking yourself what is the point?
Are your tired of not being heard, feel an unwillingness by your partner to not want to understand, or at least show some interest and concern that there is a problem that needs looking at? Or do you just know they are in another world oblivious to that deep and meaningful connection you're after, where you really feel and know each other.
Pardon me while reality kicks in, I must obviously be away with the fairies to ever expect to get this with someone. From a statisticians point of view, I wonder how many people really know how to connect with each other, or are we really living in a world of robots and zombies where being emotionally shutdown is the norm.
Maybe I'm wrong but I thought openness, closeness and truly feeling and caring for the other were key elements in a relationship allowing a healthy connection not only to exist, but thrive?
So, is your heart crying out for this deep inner connection with this supposedly someone special in your life?
There maybe aspects of the relationship that are ok, but is it enough?
Are you really getting what's important to you from your partner, and equally are you giving enough of what they want?
You're not saying you're perfect but all you want to do is talk about it and feel that heart felt thing between the two of you showing you really adore and care about each other don't you?
If you've exhausted all avenues to discuss your feelings about what's not working, what do you do?
Do you simply leave the relationship, perhaps breakup for a period, stay in isolation for awhile or see others. Either way you will perhaps feel miserable if that person really meant something to you if the truth be known. Although on the positive side, your expectations may no longer be prone to repeated let downs and you may even find that real connection you've been desiring making you feel truly alive.
Is there someone else more compatible who will make the effort to at least relate with you properly, developing more of a connection around what you need and desire from each other?
If you don't want to leave them, as there are always some things you really like about the person you are with, do you somehow attempt to satisfy your missing needs from other people or interests if you possibly can? Or is this putting a band-aid on a problem that just won't heal or even making matters worse by rubbing salt into your relationship wounds?
Do you switch that part of you inside that's hurting from not being loved and fulfilled by your partner completely off, emotionally shutting yourself down, if you haven't already?
Although it's not easy to connect on all levels all the time whether it be physical, emotional, intellectual or spiritual possibly the most important ingredient is the love required to drive the willingness to attempt whatever is needed to be truly together. It's a journey of triumphs and tribulations that is best served with togetherness.
Without this type of love you just may want to ask, what do you really have?
You just may find yourself redefining who you are and what you really want with a partner. No matter what it is, as long as it's a loving venture of reciprocity you will be a happy camper.
If there really is one secret for a successful relationship I wonder what it is?
For a wonderful website to express and view comments of gratitude visit: www.IamSoGrateful.org
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