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Introduction

Separation in families is world-wide, affecting almost everyone in one form or another. Current statistics reveal 1 in 3 marriages ending in divorce, with possibly 1 in 2 ending in Separation. As people’s choices, stress, discontent, growth, awareness and disillusionment increases, just to name a few, so does Separation. It’s just a matter of time when figures will reflect every family experiencing a Separation or breakdown. With diminishing incentives and misguided education from families, government and society, it is unlikely a reversal will happen any time soon — if at all.

However, Separation itself is not the real problem — it’s the way in which we do it that causes many people unnecessary pain, suffering and loss, both short and long term. It's what we don't know that causes us to fall into the trap.

Separation, especially when children are involved, must be taken seriously and with all avenues investigated thoroughly to keep the family intact — as the benefits of a cohesive family on all levels, far outweighs the benefits to individuals after a Separation. The psychological, financial, time and energy depletion of individuals after a Separation are just a few of the devestating consequences that support this finding.

Beyond Separation does not condone Separation ‘willy nilly’, however if all avenues have been exhausted to fix and heal the relationship, or one person wants simply ‘out’, there is little you can do. You can't force a person to stay in a relationship against their free will — married or not! It's unhealthy, wrong and totally unworkable - you just can't do it.

So a Separation it is...

Depending on the personalities of both people involved and choices they make, Separation can range from simple to very complex and messy; leaving people scarred for life needing long term rehabilitation, or at worst, the taking of life. Hence, a Separation MUST be handled delicately, respectfully and fairly giving people time to adapt to change.

Separation can be a journey like no other and is different for everyone; it being as unique as that loving smile on your face. Although not obvious at first, due to being consumed with shock and grief, Separation can be a positive change and beneficial for all family members, if conducted in the right way!


So what is the right way?

To put it simply, the right or ideal way to Separate is when you can both make mutual, amicable and mature decisions about all the issues that affect the break-up of your family, without the need for external intervention. ie. legal process, authorites, government bodies and institutions that often inflame a break-up, more than soothe it.

It will take good communication, many discussions, tolerance, being considerate and respectful of each other, and will take some time (weeks, months or possibly years) to allow both parents and children to make day-to-day adjustments, ie. getting used to the idea, the loss, getting in control of their emotions, settling on financial arrangements, organising children's needs, what your new life will look like, and so on.

Note: Special consideration needs to be given to the person who has not initiated the separation, as he or she will need more time to get used to the idea due to the shock and grief cycle.

Through education, knowledge, personal development and support from people who have experienced what you are going through, the soul destroying effects of Separation can be minimised, allowing transition into a more fruitful and peaceful life to occur.

Yes — this may seem almost impossible at times, however it's the only way to preserve and protect your family from the onslaught that awaits you. Society has setup a bureaucratic system to run your finances, energy and time dry, and compromise your sanity in more ways than you can possibly imagine, often preying upon your vulnerability, naivety and crippling your life by taking a big chunk (if not all) of your family jewels. It is setup so that you will eventually lose!

It will not help you, your children or family, now or in the future, if you give everything away so foolishly, when YOU DON'T HAVE TO; including such things as your parental and self power, control, dignity, integrity, truth and finances. Do not allow yourself to be seduced by the system that will gobble you up, and then spit your bones out when you are destitute.

So do it the right way to avoid losing big time - including those you love, what you own and have worked hard for. In short, the conseqences can be disastrous and often unrecoverable! Some parts of life can be pretty cruel and unforgiving, and separating in the wrong way is certainly proof of this!

After Separation - What Now?

Separation is the transition to the next stage of your life giving you an opportunity to reassess and refocus who and what you are.

The best way to get beyond Separation is by constructing a life plan with purpose, realigning the key elements of time, money, resources and your talents in a way that offers you life fulfillment, living by choice, not by chance.

You can do this by looking at your talents, values and vision. Years of being focused on relationships, family and jobs, in addition to the scars of Separation, can mean transferable abilities are blurred, so objectively assess (perhaps with the help of others) what you can and can't do, and which of your skills shine.

You might want to move house (if you haven't moved out already), resume work (part-time or voluntary), set up your own business, travel (if you have the freedom and liquidity) or just do anything that is fresh and new that excites you.

It is accepted that change is not easy, especially when there is possibly pain and fear still present. Some past issues may still have to be worked through as you move forward, however by envisioning that bright and shiny future ahead - your new dream awaits you. Feel truly alive and embrace each moment of life with passion —

Who we are and Our Mission

Beyond Separation is a community of people affected by Separation who support each other, share information and have some fun and laughs along the way.

By providing help, support, education and promoting awareness, whether going through or contemplating a Separation, families have a greater chance of making better choices and are spared the often traumatic experiences associated with separating the wrong way, losing their loved ones, time, health and often tens, if not hundreds of thousands of dallars. Ouch...that really hurts!

Beyond Separation aims to keep separated families together, minimise pain and suffering and self empower people to make wise and mature decisions —

Separation is a time to UNMASK

How you experience Separation will depend on 6 main factors about you and the other person involved:

  • U— Be YOU
  • N— Fair NEGOTIATION
  • M— Emotional MATURITY
  • A— Right ATTITUDE
  • S— Seek SUPPORT
  • K— Expand your KNOWLEDGE

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